Getting back together for the kids- Military?

I have an incredible friend who is torn right now. He left his 12 year marriage 5 years ago to be with another woman. (Not me, I am just his friend) but they broke up last year. He stayed very close with his 3 daughters aged now 8-13, and friendly now with his ex wife. (they never divorced due to military benefits) the issue is now, he is seriously considering reconciling with his ex wife, living together as a family for the sake of the girls- but not 'together' (he said that part of the marriage is dead and buried.) I want him to seek therapy- as does he, but due to his very senior ranking in the military it is not possible for him to seek therapy without it potentially tarnishing his record. He is suffering with doubt and confusion as he adores his daughters, and is concerned that him not living with them will damage them in the future, as well as the fact they do not have a Dad in their day to day life. The Mum has not re partnered, and is obviously open to the idea of reconciling 'for the kids'. Obviously I do not know the nitty gritty, but he is really struggling, and I am hoping someone out there can help, as he needs it. Even another voice and opinion, as he has no one to discuss this with, and has little experience with divorce etc. I have plenty of opinions on the matter, growing up as a child of divorce, as well as being divorced and having a grown child. Again, I am not vested in this situation, from a romantic viewpoint, he is my friend, I just want him to be happy, and I do not think he can see straight regarding the matter, and my personal opinion is that he could do more damage going back, having the girls have him, seeing a loveless marriage and him possibly leaving again> Thoughts, much appreciated, from all viewpoints. FYI- the girls are being beautifully raised, provided for etc and are very well adjusted, and he sees them as much as humanly possible- between missions etc.